How come no one told me no one told Alex that Michael Jackson died?

I had about $10,000 worth of This Is It concert tickets that I could've sold to Alex to recoup most of my money back and leave him with trying to unload them on others.

Alex had many copies of what-was-really-cheap-previously Thriller on vinyl, and I said "Why aren't you using those duplicates as coasters?" And he was like, "Because every vinyl is sacred." And I said, "Vinylfag." And he was like, "So?" And I said, "So?" And he was like, "So?" Now he's hundreds of dollars richer, just so he can buy vegan food.

I could've broke into his house in my Michael Jackson costume to go to him in the middle of the night with stock picks, claiming to know them from The Great Beyond, and then he would've told everyone that Michael ruined him from the grave, and he could've been on the cover of Weekly World News, and that would've been awesome!

-Vin