Ah, the American Dream - have a couple of parents, who became multimillionaires selling get rich quick schemes, give you part ownership of a house you live in by yourself, then continue living your princess lifestyle in the form of being a hippie-Burning Man-vegan-singer (who released a CD that sounds like every other white girl who kinda raps over shitty beats, and made a music video that looks like Cirque du Soleil if the acrobats had mild mental retardation)-jewelry maker who fucks* every guy who looks at her the right way, and be completely oblivious to your own statements of how fucking lonely you are that you make to whomever you talk to on the phone. And, sure, always ship off your dog to your ex-fiancee, so that when I'm around, the dog does nothing but cry out for the attention I give her that you don't. No wonder the previous other roommates said their dog was afraid of you.
Or, how about - be that creepy guy, the one who owns multiple reptiles so that there are always more reptiles than humans in the condo at any given time, and have a son that you never mention in your ad, and have the apartment so fully furnished that it feels claustrophobic, even in someone who isn't, and you yourself LOOK LIKE A FUCKING REPTILE! And make sure there's a six foot long party table and resin party chairs in the unfurnished room I'd be staying in.
Wait, I've got it - yes, the immigrant version of the American Dream - don't learn enough English that people can understand you the first go around, and make promises that all the dogs are friendly and will leave me alone, but really they're ready to show dominance, and probably have marked and will mark their territory in the available room should the door ever be left open, or is opened by you, because you are, after all, a mother of at least three children (humanity as a whole be damned) and are probably prone to making sure everything is okay, even when I'm not home, rather, especially when I'm not home.
And for all of these jerks - you don't deserve homes that you own as you can't spell, you obviously have no real success in your own lives, and you should all just get on the next spaceship to Venus.
*- When you fuck, you sound one of two ways - like a man fucking another man, or like a little girl having her favorite thing taken away from her.
-Vin
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Ah, the American Dream - have a couple of parents, who became multimillionaires selling get rich quick schemes, give you part ownership of a house you live in by yourself, then continue living your princess lifestyle in the form of being a hippie-Burning Man-vegan-singer (who released a CD that sounds like every other white girl who kinda raps over shitty beats, and made a music video that looks like Cirque du Soleil if the acrobats had mild mental retardation)-jewelry maker who fucks* every guy who looks at her the right way, and be completely oblivious to your own statements of how fucking lonely you are that you make to whomever you talk to on the phone. And, sure, always ship off your dog to your ex-fiancee, so that when I'm around, the dog does nothing but cry out for the attention I give her that you don't. No wonder the previous other roommates said their dog was afraid of you.
Or, how about - be that creepy guy, the one who owns multiple reptiles so that there are always more reptiles than humans in the condo at any given time, and have a son that you never mention in your ad, and have the apartment so fully furnished that it feels claustrophobic, even in someone who isn't, and you yourself LOOK LIKE A FUCKING REPTILE! And make sure there's a six foot long party table and resin party chairs in the unfurnished room I'd be staying in.
Wait, I've got it - yes, the immigrant version of the American Dream - don't learn enough English that people can understand you the first go around, and make promises that all the dogs are friendly and will leave me alone, but really they're ready to show dominance, and probably have marked and will mark their territory in the available room should the door ever be left open, or is opened by you, because you are, after all, a mother of at least three children (humanity as a whole be damned) and are probably prone to making sure everything is okay, even when I'm not home, rather, especially when I'm not home.
And for all of these jerks - you don't deserve homes that you own as you can't spell, you obviously have no real success in your own lives, and you should all just get on the next spaceship to Venus.
*- When you fuck, you sound one of two ways - like a man fucking another man, or like a little girl having her favorite thing taken away from her.
-Vin
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